Creating a wedding invitation suite can be a maze of etiquette and cardstock. Here’s a humorous guide to navigating the paper trail to matrimonial bliss:
The Save-the-Date
Tagline: "Mark Your Calendars, or Else!" This is essentially a pre-invite to warn your friends and family to not make any other plans or face the wrath of a bridezilla/groomzilla. It's like a movie trailer for your wedding: "Coming soon, a day you can't avoid!"
The Formal Invitation
Tagline: "It’s Happening, Whether You Like It or Not!" The main event of your stationery ensemble, this card is where you get fancy with fonts and risk giving your guests a magnifying glass to read the cursive script. Here, you'll formally request the honor of their presence because, apparently, saying “please come” is too straightforward.
The Response Card
Tagline: "Tick a Box, It’s Not Rocket Science!" Also known as the RSVP card, it’s a tactful way of saying, “Tell me if you’re coming or I’m wasting money on your empty chair.” This card often comes with meal options like chicken, fish, or "I'll eat before I come."
The Details Card
Tagline: "Because You’ll Ask These Questions Anyway!" Here's where you put all the info guests will ask about even though it's clearly stated. Directions, parking info, and a polite reminder that it’s an adult party so please leave your little screamers at home.
The Accommodations Card
Tagline: "Sleep Here, Not There!" This card is useful for out-of-town guests or locals who might party too hard. It’s a subtle nudge to book a room in your discounted hotel block and not in the sketchy motel down the road.
The Wedding Website Card
Tagline: "For Those Who Lost the Above Cards" Because some people will lose their entire invitation suite and still want to know when and where they need to show up. The wedding website is your digital backup, complete with embarrassing childhood photos and your "how we met" story that everyone has already heard.
The Thank You Card
Tagline: "Thanks for the Blender!" Last but not least, the card that says, “We appreciate the gift, even though we’ll never use it.” It’s your final nod to etiquette, completing the circle of wedding stationery and hopefully ending with you still liking each other.
So there you have it, the wedding invitation suite decoded with humor. Remember, amidst the paper cuts and postage, the ultimate goal is to get married and have a story to tell, ideally one that doesn’t end with, “And then I sent out the wrong date on the invites.”