You said yes. You picked a date. You told your mom (who told everyone else within eleven minutes). Now it's time to send save the dates, and suddenly you have forty-seven questions and zero answers. We've been there. Well, not therethere—we make the cards, not the vows—but we've helped enough couples that we've heard every question in the book.
Here's the ultimate FAQ for anyone staring at a blank save the date template wondering what in the world goes on this thing.
Wait, Are Save the Dates Even Necessary? Can't I Just... Tell People?
Technically, you could stand on your front porch and shout your wedding date into the void. But unless your guest list is limited to your neighbors and that one really attentive squirrel, you're going to want save the dates.
They're especially clutch if your wedding involves travel, falls on a holiday weekend, or includes anyone who books their PTO six months in advance (you know the type). A save the date is basically a polite way of saying, "Don't you dare schedule anything else this day." And people take a physical card a lot more seriously than a group text you sent at midnight.
How Early Is Too Early? How Late Is a Disaster?
Six to eight months out is the golden zone. That's enough time for guests to plan but not so far ahead that your card ends up in a junk drawer time capsule.
Destination wedding? Push it to eight to twelve months. Your guests will need time to book flights, find a dog sitter, and emotionally process the phrase "beach formal."
And if your wedding is still two years away? Pump the brakes. Sending a save the date that far out is like announcing a movie sequel before the first one is finished filming. People will forget, addresses will change, and you'll end up sending them again anyway.
What Actually Goes on This Thing?
Less than you think. A save the date is the movie trailer, not the feature film. Here's your checklist:
Your names. Whatever feels like you. "Alexandra and Christopher" is great. "Lexi & Chris" is equally great. "The two weirdos who met arguing about pizza toppings" is great if it fits on the card.
The date. This is the whole reason this card exists. Make it big. Make it readable. If you haven't locked in the exact date, do not send the card. "Sometime next fall, maybe?" is not a save the date—it's a maybe the date.
The city or general location. You don't need the full venue name and address yet. "Charleston, SC" or "Tuscany, Italy" gives guests what they need to start Googling flights or mapping the drive. The juicy details come later with the formal invitation.
"Invitation to follow." Four magic words that prevent your Aunt Linda from thinking this is the invitation and showing up six months early in her best dress.
Your wedding website URL. If you've set one up, include it. It's where nosy—er, enthusiastic—guests can find hotel blocks, travel info, and answers to questions they're too polite to ask you directly.
What Should I Absolutely NOT Put on It?
Registry info. We love you, but putting "we're registered at three stores" on a save the date has the same energy as handing someone a birthday wish list before they've even said hello. Save it for the website.
The full itinerary. Rehearsal dinner details, shuttle schedules, the post-wedding brunch—none of that is ready yet, and even if it is, the save the date isn't the place. Oversharing at this stage just means more corrections later.
Gift expectations. Not here. Not on the invitation either, honestly. Wedding websites exist for a reason, and that reason is so you never have to print the words "cash preferred" on cardstock.
Help Me With the Wording. I'm Staring at a Blank Screen.
Deep breath. There's no wrong answer here (okay, there are a few, but you're not going to pick those). Just match the tone to your personality and your wedding vibe.
Classic and polished: "Please save the date for the wedding of Katherine Anne Murphy and Daniel Robert Kim — August 16, 2025 — Napa Valley, California. Invitation to follow."
Laid-back and friendly: "We're doing the thing! Save the date — April 5, 2025 — Denver, CO. Invitation headed your way soon."
Full personality: "Stop what you're doing. Put down the phone. Actually, wait—keep holding the phone if that's how you're reading this. Jess & Marco are getting married. November 8, 2025. Somewhere with great food and a dance floor. Details coming soon."
Minimalist: "Tara + Will. 07.19.25. Savannah. Save the date."
The golden rule? If it sounds like something you'd never actually say out loud, rewrite it. Your save the date should feel like you, not like a greeting card wrote it during a board meeting.
Do Save the Dates Really Make a Difference?
Here's what nobody tells you: a printed save the date earns prime fridge real estate. It sits right there between the pizza coupon and the kids' soccer schedule, getting seen every single day for months. That's the kind of marketing money can't buy. (Well, technically it can, because you're buying the save the date. But you get the point.)
Beyond the fridge factor, your save the date is the very first impression guests get of your wedding. Bright colors and playful fonts? They know it's going to be a party. Elegant letterpress on thick cotton stock? They're already planning their outfit. A gorgeous photo of the two of you? They're crying at their mailbox. That little card sets the entire tone before anyone even sees the invitation.
Who Gets One? And Does My Cousin's New Boyfriend Count?
Rule number one: only send save the dates to people who are definitely getting invited. A save the date is a promise, not a suggestion. If someone gets one and then doesn't get an invitation, congratulations—you've just created the most uncomfortable family reunion in recorded history.
Still finalizing the guest list? That's fine. Just hold off on the "maybe" people. It's way better to skip someone on the save the date and invite them later than to send one and then awkwardly un-invite them. Nobody wins in that scenario.
As for your cousin's boyfriend of three weeks—use your judgment. If they're serious, include both names. If this relationship has the shelf life of grocery store guacamole, maybe just address it to your cousin.
How Do I Handle the Plus-One Situation?
Address the save the date to the guest "and Guest" if they're getting a plus-one. If they're in a committed relationship, use both names—it's more personal and tells them both they're expected.
No plus-one? Address it to just them. It's clear, it's simple, and it saves you from the dreaded "so... can I bring someone?" text. Boundaries: set them early, set them on cardstock.
What If Everything Falls Apart After I Send Them?
First of all, breathe. Dates change, venues flood, pandemics happen (we've all been through that one). If your plans shift, just send a quick update card or a note. Keep it breezy. "New date, same love" or "Plot twist! We've moved to October 12th" does the trick without any drama.
And if the wedding is called off entirely? A short, gracious note is all you need. No explanations required. Anyone who pushes for more details can be redirected to the "mind your own business" section of your wedding website.
Do My Save the Dates Have to Match My Invitations?
They don't have to, but it's a nice touch—like when the appetizers hint at how good the main course is going to be. A shared color palette or design style creates a visual thread that ties everything together and makes your wedding stationery feel intentional.
That said, if you fall in love with two completely different designs? Go for it. Nobody's going to hold your save the date up next to your invitation like a paint swatch comparison. Probably.
Any Last Words of Wisdom?
Proofread. Then proofread again. Then hand it to the most detail-obsessed person you know and have them proofread it too. Check the date against an actual calendar (you would not believe how many couples send save the dates that say "Saturday, June 14th" when June 14th is a Friday). Confirm the spelling of your city. Make sure both names are correct. If your fiancé's name is "Katherine" and you printed "Catherine," you will hear about it. At the wedding. In the toast. Forever.
Once everything checks out? Send them, pour yourself something celebratory, and cross one more thing off that terrifyingly long to-do list. You've got this.